This story is for humorous purposes only. All names are fictional, except Michael Jackson.

In an unprecedented turn of events this past Saturday the Mizzou Tigers scored 7 points against the third-ranked Texas Longhorns.

“We humiliated those bastards,” sophomore Bob A’Fett said.

A’fett’s sentiment is widely felt, as it was expected by most that Texas would gore Mizzou with the pointy horns that give the team their name.

“I mean, they still beat us,” A’Fett added. “They didn’t shut us out, though. I bet they’re feeling pretty silly right now.”

The touchdown was scored in the second quarter and sparked the hopes of the thousands of Tiger fans in attendance.

“We’ve got ‘em on the run now,” raved junior Dirk Carmine, drunk. “Well, on the walk."

"I mean, they’re seriously going to consider, you know, not laughing at us later,” he corrected himself before passing out.

While all hopes of winning were lost by the end on the first half, what is now being referred to as The Touchdown ignited a giddiness in the crowd that persisted through the rest of the evening.

“We’re off to celebrate this momentous upset,” commented MU alumnus Earl Stevens as he left the stadium with several thousand of his closest friends at half time.

Celebration was on most Tiger fans' minds by the turn of the second half.

“Look, the stadium’s half empty! We’ve seen enough to get our drink on,” Carla Barrett, senior, said.

Popular opinion attributes The Touchdown to none other than renowned pop god Michael Jackson, whom the 2009 Alumni Marching Band honored during their pre-game performance.

“We played 'I Want You Back' in hopes of currying the favor and aid of Michael Jackson,” sousaphonist Jim Clifford said. “We couldn’t think of a better spirit to aid us in the game against the Longhorns.”

The Tigers chase this touchdown induced high to Colorado, where this Saturday they will face the Buffaloes. Two touchdowns are expected for the Tigers.